According to mentalhealthamerica.net, Codependency It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.
“Codependency can be defined as any relationship in which two people become so invested in each other that they can’t function independently anymore,” “Your mood, happiness, and identity are defined by the other person. In a codependent relationship, there is usually one person who is more passive and can’t make decisions for themselves and a more dominant personality who gets some reward and satisfaction from controlling the other person and making decisions about how they will live.”, says Jonathan Becker, DO, assistant professor of clinical psychiatry at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee. Everydayhealth.com
Co-dependents base their entire sense of being on others. Their relationships are almost always toxic, soul-destroying and painful. They are enablers, which means they assume responsibility for their partner’s problems and bad behaviors & don’t allow them space to acknowledge or repair the damage themselves.
According to Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, a consultant, educator, and author of numerous books, including Understanding Codependency, signs of codependency include:
- Having difficulty making decisions in a relationship
- Having difficulty identifying your feelings
- Having difficulty communicating in a relationship
- Valuing the approval of others more than valuing yourself
- Lacking trust in yourself and having poor self-esteem
- Having fears of abandonment or an obsessive need for approval
- Having an unhealthy dependence on relationships, even at your own cost
- Having an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others
CODA, a universal support group for codependents, allows those who are stuck in this unhealthy way of living to work on their shame, learn how to express themselves in healthier ways, trust themselves to make decisions, understand their feelings, face trauma patterns & learn to make amends with those they have harmed.
Go to coda.org for a list of meetings in your area.
For more information and to get the help you need now, contact The Detox Center of Los Angeles for a free assessment of your symptoms as well as your insurance benefits and coverage